Don’t Tell Me How To Be A Mummy!

Blog: https://gabriellemusicdiaries.wordpress.com

“Get as much sleep as you can they said” – A message I will NEVER forget as I sit here at 5.29am feeding my new born hungry baby for his third wake up feed since midnight.

Yay I’m finally a mum! What a great way to start 2018! After an excruciating 72 hour labour, with a 13 day late baby, and a couple complications, my beautiful baby boy made his grand entrance at 9.51pm on 26th December 2017. All glory to the most high!

To make the day even more special, he managed to wriggle his way out just in time to share his bornday with his Daddy!

Double blessings! My two favourite boys are born on the SAME day! It was definitely worth the wait! (It just means that my Decembers are going to super expensive from here on *starts saving*)

I told myself this post would be raw, straight from the heart, no sugar coating, my personal way of venting out all the feelings that I have inside of me, things I’ve not been able to openly share. So apologies in advance for the long post, but writing is my therapy.

If I say the journey has been easy since his birth, I would be spitting you a whole lot of lies! It’s been the hardest journey I’ve encountered! My pregnancy was amazing, I loved every minute of it, if you followed my journey you would know that it’s been beautiful! I’ve stayed active and continued to work up until D Day!

But since his birth, I can honestly say I’ve never been so emotional in my life! I remember when I read about the baby blues, I told myself I wouldn’t fit into that category. Everyone said I would be moody and emotional during my pregnancy but I wasn’t, so why would this happen to me Post pregnancy?

“Baby blues are irregular mood changes that can start shortly before or anytime after childbirth, but usually set in between a week and a month after delivery and generally last for less than two weeks” (The Bump App)

Boy was I wrong! The past 9 days have been a rollercoaster ride, spending 4 days in hospital after baby’s arrival wasn’t the best way to start motherhood, but still I pushed through! I remember the day they discharged us and I could bring my beautiful baby boy home, I couldn’t describe the feeling, I was over the moon, so excited to finally start my journey as a Mummy. So what could possibly bring me down now?

I remember a piece of advice my cousin gave me. She said “people are always going to tell you how to look after your child, but don’t take it personally, you can choose to ignore them, at the end of the day it is YOUR child”.

It’s not been easy, I’ve had people trying to tell me what to do from left, right and centre and it’s been very upsetting! I won’t lie, at times it made me feel like I’m a rubbish mum, what do I know? I’ve never had a child before? I would cry and cry and ask myself what I’m doing wrong? Why won’t people just leave me be? I was so consumed by others opinions that I started doubting myself! Me? Doubt myself?

I was literally going against everything I stood for! I was going against what my blog portrays! Positivity, happiness and self belief! How can I turn a blind eye to what I live by?!

I’m really upset with myself that I allowed people opinions to get a hold of me, but NO MORE!

I look at my son every single day and just look at how absolutely perfect he is! Sometimes I cannot believe he is ours!!I carried him for almost 42 weeks and now he’s here, live in the flesh! This is a blessing from God! Who is anyone to take this happiness away from me?! This is a time of rejoice, thankfulness, joy! And from here on I promise myself to enjoy every single minute with my beautiful baby boy!

They make it look so easy being a mum, but it’s not! We are not super humans, so it is okay sometimes not to be okay, but always remember God in these situations! Talk to him ask him for support and guidance, don’t let the devil strip away a happiness that is rightfully YOURS!

To round of this post I just want to say a huge thank you to the most supportive partner I could ever ask for! Thank you for being by my side every single step of the way and dealing with all my emotional breakdowns! You’re truly perfect!

Also to my mum who’s helped me transition into becoming a Mummy, she really is my backbone and this journey has made me appreciate her EVEN more! People appreciate your mums, they are the real MVPs!

So here’s to a new journey of motherhood, a whole new spectrum of self belief and happiness! And a continued journey of faith and guidance!

I promise to be the best Mummy to you! I will NEVER fail you, I will do everything I can to make sure you live the perfect life!

Thank you for reading this post! It truly means a lot x

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© 2020 The Motherhood Group, Coordinators of Black Maternal Mental Health Week UK