Nahdia Blake's TTAM

Instagram : nahdz_adventures

I found out I was expecting my first son while I was in my second year of university. I was shocked, scared and worried what people would think of me. I did want to have my children in my 20's but found out I was pregnant when I was 19. I felt like the pregnancy was a blessing in disguise. My baby was my motivation, I completed university because I wanted to do it for him and not for myself. I struggled in university, I didn't like the teaching style and was contemplating dropping out but when I fell pregnant I decided that I would continue to study and graduate with my baby on my hip!

My pregnancy went very smooth... I didn't have any issues, I carried quite small so lots of people didn't know. I wouldn't say I hid my pregnancy but I didn't publicise it. Mainly because I believe that pregnancy is private personal. I continued to go to lectures and work. I remember I had an exam due 5th May and my son was due 17th May and all I wanted was for him to stay put until I had completed my exam and he did.

Labour was quite quick for me. I was quite active during my pregnancy I continued doing taekwondo and completed my grading at 7 month pregnant. I was never anxious about giving birth for some strange reason as it is quite a big ordeal. I was always around babies and children, I was also a qualified childcare practitioner so was not worried about raising a baby. I was happy and excited to have my own child.

One issue that I did have during pregnancy was lack of iron. I was told to take iron tablets at 28 weeks but decided I would try to eat foods rich in iron. During labour my son came out so fast that I tore and lost a lot of blood. I lost 3 litres of blood, I remember the midwife pushing down on my stomach and hearing chunks of blood drop out. I felt like I had passed out, I remember saying I wanted to have a shower but fell asleep. I was sleeping in and out of trying to eat. I don't remember the first hours of my sons life because I was in such a daze, it was an awful feeling. Because I lost so much blood I had a blood transfusion. I ended up staying in hospital for 4 days after birth but after that I felt ok.

After birth I didn't suffer with any depression lucky I had a lot of support from family and friends. With my first son I was nervous and scared to nurse him in public so I used to express a lot so he could have breast milk but I feel like he wasn't getting as much as he should which made me have to give him formula. One thing I would tell my younger self if breasting is normal and healthy. Its the best start for your baby so feel comfortable to feed them anywhere. I did have this attitude once I had my second son.

After 4 months I went back to university and completed my final year. This was not easy, at the time my partner was not working so he was able to stay home with our son. I remember those late nights when he was teething really bad and I had to get up early for a 9AM lecture. I remember holding him while trying to type up essays. It was hard but worth it and being able to graduate with my son being my motivation was a huge blessing.

Motherhood is not easy, there are ups, down, highs and lows but it makes it worth it knowing you are raising the future.

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© 2020 The Motherhood Group, Coordinators of Black Maternal Mental Health Week UK