Gloria Ogunrinde's TTAM

Instagram: gloriasade

Motherhood is beautiful, motherhood on social media is great, motherhood outdoors when you bump into everyone loving on your beautiful baby, (or in my case- babies) is easy breezy beautiful. People ask “how are you? How is everything?”, you reply “I’m great, fine, things are good.” Meanwhile, you haven’t had a good night’s sleep since you’ve given birth, your body doesn’t feel like your own, hormones and emotions all over the place, but you know. Things are great, you’re fine, everything’s good!

As mothers, I feel like we feel this automatic pressure to be perfect, to adjust to this new role gracefully, to be organised 24/7, be ‘snap back’ body goals and keep up with life like normal, as if nothing major has just happened in our lives. We post great pictures and videos on social media, we try to make everything as perfect as our newborns, and to top it off, we try to look our best!

The truth is motherhood is raw, its real, it’s challenging. Behind closed doors I can be a mess; overnight breast milk stains on my pyjamas, may or may not have showered for two days (don’t judge me), kitchen sink filled to the brim. I’m really pushing for this snap back bod but behind closed doors no time to cook up a decent meal so it’s Pizza and McDonald's for lunch and dinner, no one to watch the kids so not much time to exercise. I’m trying so hard not to lose my own identity. I’m sleep deprived so much it makes me want to cry sometimes, I feel bad about wanting to cry- should I be complaining about sleepless nights in motherhood? There are so many things to juggle!

I look at my twin girls, they’re beautiful, they’re happy, they love me without me doing much. Their little smiles make it all worth it. Motherhood is a journey, a challenge every day, it’s surprising how much strength there is in woman. I didn’t know I could do so much till I had my girls. I’ve decided to be as real and truthful when it comes to motherhood, embrace all the challenges, not only talk about the easy breezy side but also talk about the raw, real sides to it, try not to feel bad when I think about myself from time to time, chase my dreams as well as raise my girls to chase theirs fearlessly.

So when I get asked “how are you, how are things?” My answers may be “I’m knackered”, “things are actually great”, “life has never been better”, “I’m on my last straw”, “getting things done, being a badass”. I’ve learnt that either one of these answers are fine, it’s all a journey. A great journey to be on.

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© 2020 The Motherhood Group, Coordinators of Black Maternal Mental Health Week UK