Demice Watson's TTAM

If someone sat me down and told me the truth about how difficult motherhood is would i have still of had a child?

Being a Mum is exhausting. I have a little girl who is nearly 18 months old and she runs me off my feet. Sometimes i think how can this tiny person be so demanding, I am not ashamed to admit I have locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes on more than one occasion for some peace and quiet but even then as soon as I open the door I'm greeted by her.

Nobody tells you that your toilet is a sacred place to hide or that you will need to go and hide from your little one.

When I was pregnant I was so excited to meet my little girl, my labour was 32 hours but I handled it well and seeing my baby for the first time took the pain away instantly. Even the memory of first seeing her face makes me cry as I write this. You have your blissful few days then the challenges hit you one after another. The first time i showered after birth i cried, wheres my baby gone i sobbed. How will i protect her now shes out into the world, the baby blues hit me HARD. This lead to post natal depression which I ended up seeking medial attention for. But again.. nobody tells you how hard it is.

My daughter still doesn't sleep. When she was a few weeks old she had the most horrendous baby colic and then it was followed by baby eczema and then teething. I often questioned my mothering skills. Am i a bad mother? No not at all. 'm an excellent Mum.. but sometimes it doesn't feel like that. Family comment that I am doing an amazing job and that reassurance helps a lot. And again nobody tell... ahh forget it you get my point.

But back to the question, would I have had a child if someone had explained the highs and lows to me? 100% yes. My daughter is my soul mate and my best friend. I will admit that sometimes the bad outweighs the good but when it's good it is phenomenal. She is smart and beautiful with a heart of pure gold. I'm so lucky to be her Mother, its hard but its worth it and i wouldn't change it for the world.

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© 2020 The Motherhood Group, Coordinators of Black Maternal Mental Health Week UK